Two things leaped out at me from this story: One, Mr. Conaway has the best ear for Texas dialect since Dan Jenkins. Two: When I was in San Antonio a while back I read on a plaque on a wall by the bar in the Hotel Menger that Oscar Wilde had visited that bar back a ways in the century and astounded the cowboys who, to a man, said, "We liked the hell out of the little feller,but you jest cain't understand a WORD he says." If I didn't know better i'd say that this story could have been written by Oscar after he met the Texans. Thirdly (yeah, I know thats three things. Sue me.): That's way too funny a tale for words to express. Thanks for the highlight Kaye. Major fun.
That's the first time I've ever been mentioned in the same sentence as Oscar Wilde. It makes up for that blog post that called me the Antichrist.
(My thanks to Kaye George, who commented on my story in Chris Rhatigan's blog Death by Killing. And to whomever ajhayes2 is.)