Thursday, April 5, 2012

James Bond Drinks WHAT?

It's been reported that, in the next James Bond film, the iconic hero will forsake his traditional martini for a beer. A Heineken, in fact.

I suppose that Heineken was willing to pay more in product placement money than whatever the martini fixin's paid. (For the record, a standard martini is just gin and vermouth plus a garnish, although there are many variants.)

They already did away with his martini mixing preference in the remake of "Casino Royale." When a bartender asks Daniel Craig if he wants his martini "stirred or shaken," Craig intones, "Do I look like I give a damn?"

But you can only update James Bond so much before he's no longer James Bond. That's the way it is with iconic characters.

For example, DC Comics tried making Catwoman into a butch prostitute. But the fans didn't like it, and her backstory was changed at the next re-boot. (Comics get revamped every few years, nowadays.)

Even though I'm not personally fond of martinis, I'd prefer that James Bond continue drinking them. And, as a former bartender, I can attest that martini drinkers tend to be high on the "annoying customer scale." They want their drinks made just so ( "Gimme a dirty, bone-dry vodka martini with three olives, straight up" ). They often return martinis that aren't made to their satisfaction. I even had a customer pull the strainer out of my hand as I was making his martini, accusing me of "watering down" his drink!

But James Bond should be drinking martinis.

The only way I'd approve of James Bond drinking a Heineken is if he kills someone with the Heineken bottle.

And if he does, no doubt the brand name on the label will be visible, even if most of the bottle is jammed inside a malefactor's skull.


  1. Oh, I agree -- if he kills someone with that green bottle that would make it okay. Otherwise, ew!

    1. Right, Kelly.

      Although it WOULD be interesting if the antagonist he kills with the Heineken was a martini drinker.

  2. The least they could do is have him drink a *real* beer. It's product placement, isn't it?
    Just wait till it's a Dubonnet on the rocks, and we devoted fans will have to commit sepuku.

    To be fair, in the John Gardner-penned Bond books, Gardner had him drive a Saab, and I nearly projectile vomited my Vesper martini.


    1. James Bond drove a Saab? That's hilarious, Gregory!

      I wonder if Saab gave John Gardner a Saab for the mention....