Intellectuals in Bubbatown

A Canadian online literary magazine called Qarrtsiluni will be posting a humorous essay I wrote in their next issue. (Yes, I will post a link when "Intellectuals in Bubbatown" is available.) They also wanted a recording of me reading it.

So I read it onstage during Saturday night's show at the Marlton (NJ) Comedy Cabaret. I think I lost the audience somewhere between the references to Miguel de Unamuno and Donald Barthelme.

I knew I should have added some knob gags.

Surviving Opening Weekend

I know of few things more tiring than opening a new nightclub. Years ago, in Houston, I recall working for a week to get a nightclub called Nice 'n' E-Z open on time. We'd work until we just had to sleep, then we'd take a nap atop the pool table.

To make this opening more stressful, I managed to come down with a cold.

The new South Jersey Comedy Cabaret opened this past weekend. There was some chaos on opening night...people managed to enter from three different doors, and a waitress dropped a tray of drinks at my feet. But all in all, it went well.

The sound system needs work, but our sound guys are working on it tomorrow. (Why is it that you never know for sure how the acoustics will sound until you have a room full of people? It probably even makes a difference what time of year it is: a roomful of people in sound-absorbing winter gear will be different from people in summer wear.)

But it's open, and I survived. For more information, you can go to the Comedy Cabaret website and click on the South Jersey room.

New Year, New Comedy Club

As I have mentioned, on weekends I manage a Comedy Club in South Jersey.

After almost six years, we had to close down my old club, the Cherry Hill Comedy Cabaret at the Clarion Hotel. The Cherry Hill Clarion is being sold, and they wouldn't guarantee that we could stay. So I found a new room.

I've just returned from a tiring day, getting our new South Jersey Comedy Cabaret ready for its Grand Opening this Friday night. Instead of being in a hotel, it will be at an Italian Restaurant in nearby Marlton, NJ. It's only about 4 miles from the old location, so I anticipate that most of our old customers will come to this new venue.

The venue is the Casa Carollo Restaurant at the corner of Route 73 and Baker Boulevard. Friday's show is already sold out, so we expect to do well there. But there are hundreds of things that can go wrong, so I'll be happier a week from now, after our opening weekend.

For more information, you can go to the Comedy Cabaret website and click on the South Jersey room. Wish us luck!

The Man Who Gets Right to the Point

Stand-up comic Nolan Gilbride left town today. He's returning to Nebraska.

I've been in the comedy business in one way or another since 1984. I've been a comic, a booking agent, a comedy writer, a comedy instructor, and a club manager. I've seen and advised a lot of comics over the years.

For 99% of comics, my main advice is "cut out at least 20% of the words." A successful stand-up comic gets to the punchline as quickly as possible. If you edit out some of the words, you get there quicker.

(Of course, the advice I try NOT to give is "be funnier." That's not particularly helpful, even though it's true for most new comics.)

Nolan Gilbride was among the 1% of comics who did NOT have to cut out words. He'd already learned that lesson. In fact, I advised him to ADD a few words, to provide a segue or two. I hoped he might be more successful if the audience had more time to digest his succinct, pithy jokes.

So Nolan was unique among local comics. He was trying for a particular type of absurdist comedy, unlike anyone else currently working in the Philadelphia area. It's the sort of comedy that Steven Wright does. And it's one of the hardest types of comedy to pull off.

In the two or three years Nolan was around, I'm not sure I ever gave him a paid gig. When I sent him to other comedy clubs, the managers usually gave him a mediocre report.

Still, at least he was trying something different. I wish I could have helped him be more successful.

He didn't have much in the way of credits. So, to have something to write about him on the Comedy Cabaret website, I named him "The Man Who Gets Right to the Point." (Grammatically, that should be "The Man Whom," but advertising should be colloquial.)

But now he's gone. And the Philadelphia comedy scene just got a little less interesting.

The Man Who Gets Right to the Point left town today. If he continues in comedy, I hope he finds success back in Nebraska.

The Final Night of the Comedy Cabaret at the Clarion

I was in my room at the Clarion Hotel in Cherry Hill, NJ. I unwrapped a bar of soap in the bathroom, and tossed the wrapper into the trash can. The wrapper bounced off of the plastic bag lining the trash can, and skittered under the sink. Housekeeping hadn’t bothered to put the liner in properly; it was tight as a drum, sealing the trash can.

I sighed. One more thing I won’t miss about the Clarion Hotel. Then I shaved with hot water from the shower, because there wasn’t any hot water in the sink.

After a five and a half year run, the Cherry Hill Comedy Cabaret closed down on Saturday night. I managed it for its entire run, never missing a day.

The club was located in the Cherry Hill Clarion Hotel and Conference Center, which is up for sale. It is also in dire need of repair, so it was time. The Comedy Cabaret organization hopes to have a new club open in the area by January.

Our final show was about three-quarters full…which was good, because only about three-quarters of the room was habitable. One back corner had several leaks in the ceiling, and the carpet was sopping wet.

Still, it provided us with a serviceable venue for five and a half years. You have to miss anything that’s been part of your life that long.

Last week’s headliner, the remarkable Dena Blizzard (a former Miss New Jersey), asked me about the closing, “So, how are you handling it? You must be crying into your pillow every night!”

I said, “Yes, but I do that every night anyway.”