Between Jobs

For the first time in more than a year, I'm not under a deadline. Even though I know it won't last long, it's a strange feeling.

Intellectuals in Bubbatown

A Canadian online literary magazine called Qarrtsiluni will be posting a humorous essay I wrote in their next issue. (Yes, I will post a link when "Intellectuals in Bubbatown" is available.) They also wanted a recording of me reading it.

So I read it onstage during Saturday night's show at the Marlton (NJ) Comedy Cabaret. I think I lost the audience somewhere between the references to Miguel de Unamuno and Donald Barthelme.

I knew I should have added some knob gags.

What I've Learned About Freelance Writing

Last night I was on a panel about freelance writing for the Main Line Writers Group of King of Prussia, PA. The event drew 20 attendees - about twice the usual number. It seems that there was some interest in the topic, so I thought I'd write down the main points I covered.

1) Editors change jobs often: try to keep in touch with them. My co-author and I sold three books to three different publishers - all through the same editor, as he switched from one job to the next.

2) It is vitally important to deliver your work on time. Harlan Ellison used to complain about editors who complained "I don't care if it's good, I want it Tuesday!" Not all editors feel the same...most want your work good and on time. If you must deliver your work late, don't wait until the due date; let your editor know at least a week in advance.

3) You need a marketing plan to sell a book today. And social media is a big part of marketing. That's why I have 3,000 + friends on Facebook.

4) Finally, it's tough to make a living as a freelance writer. You can go months without collecting a check. It's good to have an additional source of income. Get married, get a part-time job, get an investment portfolio. Or move to a country where the cost of living is cheaper. Me, I'm considering doing all four.

I Must Not Be Doing It Right

I am not naturally a social person. When thrust into a group setting, my natural inclination is to hide behind a large potted plant, muttering to myself.

However, over the years, I have mastered some social skills. I thought I had gotten to the point where I could socialize with other writers. Especially if there was alcohol involved.

But apparently I'm not doing it right (according to The New Yorker).

Reporting on a dinner that included British authors Salman Rushdie and Christopher Hitchins, writer Lauren Collins revealed that the guests started off with various word games. They couldn't even begin to talk about Iraq and Nicaragua and Tiananmen Square until they proved how witty they were.

When I get together with my writer friends, we do little but complain about how bad newspapers have become. (This may have something to do with the fact that most of my writer friends are ex-newspapermen.) We do not play word games. We do not talk about Iraq or Nicaragua or Tiananmen Square (although I do recall a conversation about New Guinea).

But, so I'm prepared for dinner with Rushdie or Hitchins, I'm practicing my palindromes and Botticelli. Just in case.

The Capricious Muse

Yesterday, the writer's muse granted me three good ideas for short stories. Unfortunately, yesterday was an absurdly busy: I rushed from appointment to appointment with no time to site down and write. All I managed was to scribble a few notes while standing in line.

Today I had more time, so I sat down to flesh out the three story ideas. But the muse is capricious. I failed to cherish her gifts yesterday, so today she took my talent away. (I don't suffer from writer's block, but on bad days I just grind out dreck.)

When my talent returns - tomorrow, I hope - I will get some decent stories out of these ideas. In the meantime, I've been given a warning. I must write, write every day, every damn day until I die. Then I can stop.

Hawks

I have no idea why, but I've seen more hawks in urban settings than in rural ones. I've gone on hawk-viewing expeditions to Hawk Mountain, PA, and managed to miss every raptor. Yet I've spotted several hawks feeding on the lawn at my parents' house in West Chester, PA. I even saw one getting entangled in a scrubby pine tree next to a parking lot off Route 70 in Cherry Hill, NJ.

At present, there is a live webcam showing three eyassers (baby hawks) in a nest in Philadelphia, PA. This nest of Red-tailed hawks is on a window ledge of the Franklin Institute. You can see the busy traffic beyond the nest on the Franklin Parkway. There is also a Facebook site for the Franklin Institute hawks, called Franklin Hawkaholics. It's worth a look.

Two Beers

It's opening day for the Phillies, who beat the hapless Nationals 11 to 1. Plus, Duke won the NCAA and the Eagles traded Donovan McNabb. With that much sports going on, you've got to have a beer or two.

Of late, I've been trying different beers. Several younger friends of mine have had to give up drinking beer, so I realize my alcohol-swilling days may also be numbered. Or maybe it's just an excuse to drink more.

I already have some experience with a variety of beers. I once managed a bar that sold 90 different kinds of beer, and I tired every one. The place also had an all-female staff, except for me. (That sounds more fun than it actually was. As the only male, I was the doorman, bouncer, and had to change all the beer kegs.)

Tonight I want to make note of two remarkable beers that I just tried:

Innis & Gunn Original Oak Aged Beer is a fine lager from Edinburgh. Its taste is pleasant...but its scent is astonishing! Its aroma is so strong that you'd swear you wear a child again, suspiciously sniffing a beer and wondering how anyone could drink such a stinky thing! It's a grand experience.

Rogue Old Crustacean Barleywine Style Ale is from Oregon's Rogue Brewery. I never thought I'd encounter a beer that I couldn't drink, but here it is. It's as bitter as coffee left in the pot for six hours. Barleywine Style Ale is one of my favorite types of beer, but I can't stomach Old Crustacean. The 750 ml bottle is pretty cool, though: black, with a replaceable stopper.

But do try the Innis & Gunn if you ever get the chance.